Diaper Don (Parody of "Big Bad John" by Jimmy Dean)

NOTE: Please don't bother telling us that Trump doesn't weight "239". That number is a joke, referencing the infamous Dr. Ronnie physical report. Let's keep up, folks. :) Thanks to Mary in Ann Arbor for background vocals! (lyrics) Every mornin' on line You could see him there whine He stood six foot 3 and weighed 239* Kind of broad at the tummy And padded at the hip And everybody knew he had to get a grip Diaper Don Nobody seemed to know when Don would go home Though his wife was crated up and packed in styrofoam He wouldn't shut up about Pennsylvania now And everytime he loses, he has himself a cow, Diaper Don Somebody used that hashtag that weekend Sayin' it was fairly clear he was wearin' some Depends And a crash to his ego caused a late-night rant So everybody'd know about the padding in his pants, Diaper Don From his tiny desk, he put out a big tweet And the coal miners said "Biden, he's a big cheat!" And 80 million people put his hopes in the grave And now there's only one who thought it was a close shave, and that's Don With lawyers and stories, they'd start that defense Then came that rumble from Fox and Friends And as Power and Billionaires started to whine Everybody knew it was the end of the line, 'cept Don Well, they never re-nominated that worthless twit They just put a marble stand in front of that shit These few words are written on that stand At the bottom of this butt, lies a big, big diaper man Diaper Don