Star Trek: Section 31 - re:View

The ultimate cosmic confusion has set in for these two Graveyard Grandpas™ as they watch the newest “Star Trek” “Movie” Star Trek: Section 31. A flop years in the making costing Paramount Plus hundreds of millions of dollars putting them nearly 900 billion dollars in debt. And also costing them the good will of zillions of fans (except for really really dumb ones) all for one man, Alex Trebek. So when Star Trek Discovery was first made. Michelle Yeoh plays a character called Phillip George. She was Bo Burnham’s Captain on the USS Shengie. Burnham screwed up. Georgie Plagu died. Then in the mirror verse, Shelly Burnham discovered Phillp's Georgous has a clone called Evil lady Empress. The leader of the evil Terran Umpire. That evil character would stick around and play games with yum yum girl, punching baddies and saying cool lines like, "wanna go make that man scream?" then I'm not sure what happened to her character? I think she few into Kurtzman’s space hole and went to the future. At some point she must have traveled back in time, but not all the way back because she owns a space station shaped like a birth control pill dispenser and is friends with Rachel Garrett from Yesterday's Enterprise. Like, she was her age like maybe 68 years after the Events in Discovery? I know Michelle Yeoh looks youthful, but c’mon! Not 147 years old! Either way, Alex Kurtzmop thought this character was so well like she gets her own show. He plan for it. Then the China virus plague happened and everyone in California had to hide in their homes and wear masks. No filming! Says someone! Then when that cleared up Yeoh wins an Oscar and can no longer be paid peanuts for playing space psychopath. Tell me about it! Show me the money! Put that money everywhere everything is all at once! She told Kurtzmop where he could stick his hot dog fingers. So because of contracts and cruelty Kurtzmop decided to make Yeoh play space witch one more time for Star Trek. What a disaster. Thank god this is just a "movie" and not 10 episodes of this trash. Saved me some time. What a gas! Flat unfunny characters. Lame plot. Meh effects. I've soiled diapers that look more stylish and cool than this crap. This makes Borderlands look like Rebel Moon. Now, these two Graveyard Grandpas™ are a little behind on their Trek cannon. Who is where and why and why? Does it matter to watch this? Not really. Is Phillip Georgo the main character that you're supposed to sympathize with? I think so? Not sure ? I think you're just supposed to think that this wacky group of unlikely heroes are cool for saving the universe from a super bomb. Why do I care about the universe at all? Seems kind of miserable, mean, dark, cruel, evil, cold, unfunny and has lousy visual FX.